


You Can't Save me (But I Can Choose To Be Saved)

by waitingforthehogwartsletter



Series: Gendrya Oneshots [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Forgive Me, but it's like really like, i have hots for this sort of gendrya, like two am late, sort of dark but not really, this is so not proof read you guys i'm awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-14 23:18:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2206794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingforthehogwartsletter/pseuds/waitingforthehogwartsletter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brienne has been searching for Arya Stark for years after the War was over. She had an oath to keep, and she was ready to die to keep it. She had never expected to find out that her oath was never needed at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can't Save me (But I Can Choose To Be Saved)

**Author's Note:**

> it's just a drabble gone bad. like, too little fluff and too much plot. I JUST WANTED FLUFF OKAY   
> it was totally not meant to become what it became, but i promise it's sorta nice

Brienne spent three years after the War ended in search for Arya Stark.

Three years – no less, had she been almost constantly on horseback, combing through every inch of every forest, village or road Arya had reportedly been near. Although, the area she had searched through started expanding so much that Brienne had already gone far up North in her search.

No, she was not yet close to Winterfell, but it was close enough to notice the sharpness of winter that only ever existed in that part of the Seven Kingdoms.

The War, the horror that filled Brienne's days and nights, everytime she closed her eyes, had been (at first) only that of the men. The true war, the one that the Night's Watch had been warning them about for months and years, happened when the Others arrived.

So much darkness, pain and cold covered the whole realm, that Brienne, the brave, unique warrior, had thought of ways to flee the land multiple times. But alas, they had won. And at what cost...

As she climbed off her horse, looking up at the Inn she had chosen for the night, one hand grasped the chain about her neck. The one she had been gifted by Jamie Lannister, pure minutes before he himself had been slaughtered. He had told her that the chain was as strong and fierce as her face and bravery, but that it was as beautiful as her spirit and honour. Brienne spent many nights dwelling on those rare moments Jamie had appeared his true self, no lies, before her. She spent a fair amount of tears, too.

„Lady Brienne?“

Brienne raised her head from her cup of ale to see a plump woman staring at her. „That easy to recognize?“

„Gods, no.“ The woman laughed it off. „The word carries quickly 'round here. Any travellers that move through North move as quickly as they can, and such was a word that told me a certain Warrior Maiden had been riding about. May I ask, my lady, who are you searching for?“

Brienne would have sighed or groaned if she were weaker than she truly was. Any lesser man or woman would have given up a long time ago. She fought through her search as much as she rode through it. „Arya Stark.“ She said, boldly. „I am in search of Lady Arya Stark, as I have promised once to her lady mother, Catelyn Stark.“

„I see. I presume it was you to return Lady Sansa to where she truly belongs?“ the woman said, leaning on the counter with her elbows. Brienne didn't notice her earlier when she was given her drink – she was just too tired to look at faces she knew would never suffice her search.

„No. Lady Sansa had her own means of transport, as I've heard. She became quite a fierce woman, herself. The stories I hear...“ Brienne's lips were shortly grazed by a ghost of a smile. „She reminds me of her mother.“

The woman frowned. „In more ways than one. Tragic destinies? Murdered families? Yes. Both husbands dead by injustice. Firstborn sons crowned as Kings and then slaughtered. Also right. Let us hope the two babes our new _Queen_ has shall remain as safe as she has kept them for now.“

Brienne had not heard anything about the two babes, but she knew Sansa's husband Willas had been killed by Others, and she knew her child, Tyrion, had been killed as soon as the first rumours of him being the new King in the North had started. The child was less than 7 years old, and Brienne had mourned the soul she had never known, for the sake of the child's mother and grandmother.

„Two babes? I have not heard of that.“ She tried to keep her voice steady and indifferent.

„Oh yes. They would now be... around... three or four years old, I'd say? Not babes at all anymore. Apparently, by the end of the war, before Lord Willas had been killed, he managed to get another babe on her. Or two.“ The woman smiled and winked.

The story made Brienne as sad as it made her happy. For the children and for Sansa, to never have a father and a husband again... but still, how could she not be happy to have two of her own?

„The names.“ Brienne suddenly said. „How did she name them?“

The woman smiled a sad smile, her features softening. Her voice was so much gentler now, too. It seemed that the story of the Starks would always remain a dear one and would touch many hearts, especially of the people in the North.

„The boy, she named Eddard. The girl, she named Arya. They say she had meant to name them both after her parents... but both turned out as Stark as possible. Both dark of hair and grey of eyes. They say our dear lady cried as much out of grief as she had out of happiness when she laid her eyes upon them. Her brother, Commander Snow, was there, too. Apparently Sansa had almost named her son Jon, for the way her twins were alike to Jon and Arya, but Jon had advised her to name the children after the lost, to honour them. Eddard is much more fitting for a Northern heir anyway, don't you think?“

But Brienne was hardly able to respond. Name them after their lost? Did that mean that both the Snow and the Stark had given up on believing their sister was still alive?

„Oh, no.“ Sansa Stark said a month later, as Brienne kneeled before her. „And please, do sit down, Lady Brienne. You must be so very tired – and this would be striking news for you, if I may guess.“

Instead of answering, Brienne simply followed Sansa's wish and sat down beside the Queen in the North. A lot had changed in the Realm, but the decision to make the North a Kingdom again was completely well taken. Their role in beating the Others could have easily given them the whole Realm, but as the only Stark left was Sansa, she wished simply to have the North live on itself once again. Making her a Queen was never her idea, either.

„My Queen, before you tell me, I have another question.“ Brienne slowly said. The Queen nodded her head, a soft smile complimenting her young, gentle features. The only thing Brienne could focus on, though, were her sharp eyes. Like ice. Like the blade of a sword. Like her mother's eyes. „You named your first son Tyrion...“

„Ah.“ Sansa chuckled. „My first husband was so much more than that. He was the first person out of my family that I truly loved. Never in the romantic way. But I loved him dearly, and I still do, and so I believe he feels about me. My son... he would have been proud to be named after that great man.“

Brienne lowered her gaze when the smile fell from Sansa's lips. „My Lady, I am so sorry – „

„No need to apologize. I have heard one too many times about your honour and moral and how good you are. I know you mean no harm.“

„Of course not, my Lady.“

Sansa Stark looked at Brienne for a long moment, her eyes piercing daggers. „Arya is not dead.“

„What – „

„My brother was the first to tell me, a long time ago.“ Sansa took a deep breath. „Jon saw her reunited with Nymeria, her direwolf, in one of his wolf dreams. Jon has a direwolf, too, Ghost, do you know?“ when Brienne nodded her head, Sansa continued. „She returned to us, a little before the War ended, in time to meet both my late husband and my firstborn. She helped us win the War. And she comes to visit whenever she can.“

„Where is she?“ Brienne breathed out. Desperation clutched her neck and she could hardly breathe.

„I am not sure. She took Jon to see where she is, once. But we both agreed I should not be separated from my children for so long. And after all, Arya, she is the adventurous type. Like yourself, I'd say. I am not made for whatever she goes through on her journey here.“

„May I see her?“

„I could ask Jon to show her the way, if he thought it was all right.“

 

After Brienne promised never to tell a word of Arya's existence to anyone, and to never show anyway a single step of the way to where the girl lived, Jon Snow agreed to take her to see his sister.

Of course, Brienne had waited to meet Jon a fortnight before he finally rode into Winterfell, coming as soon as his sister's letter reached the Wall.

 

Brienne doubted she would ever be able to go back to where Jon Snow led her, even if she hadn't given her promise. The path was just too confusing for her, and she thought Commander of the Night's Watch knew the way only because he had lived in the North his whole life, and could actually recognize the weird ways he took. Brienne lacked the knowledge of the space a bit too much.

„I'll go first, and when I come back, you go, all right?“ Jon told her once the naked trees they were passing through started getting less and less thick. They were obviously reaching the end of the cold northern forest, and Brienne presumed they were less than a mile from Arya Stark. „There's a cottage, visible as soon as you step out of the trees. Stay here, I'll be quick.“

With that, Jon Snow left her to shiver among the trees.

Minutes passed slowly, but finally, less than a half an hour later, he appeared again.

„I should warn you – she's not going to be welcoming. All our lives were terrible, but Arya's was worse than either Sansa's or mine. Once, she told me that she envied Rickon and Bran and Robb and our parents, for not having to live after the war was over. She told me that she didn't know how to live in peace after growing up to be at war. She said she was at war with herself, every day. But you know, something happened, and... now she's almost at peace.“ Jon bowed his head, but Brienne could still see the way his face cringed and how the pain was still so obvious, and she remembered Jamie's smile and wondered who was the one to make Jon Snow suffer once the war was over.

There was always someone, Brienne knew, to make things better or worse.

 

Arya Stark looked nothing like her mother.

She stood in front of her cottage, obviously waiting for Brienne to come, in a black, simple dress, with her a lower cut than Brienne thought was possible for the cold winter air. Arya's shoulders were exposed, as well little of her now generous bosom. Her hair was dark as night, wild as the North, spilling over and around her shoulders, swinging softly in the wind, so long it passed the girl's thin waist.

Her face was the biggest shock.

Her pale skin so in contrast with her hair, and her lips that were plump and red, her face long and sharp and weirdly, remarkably, alike to that of Ned Stark. Her eyes were also just the same as her father's. But Arya Stark, or whoever the woman standing before Brienne was, was miles from what she used to be.

She was beautiful, so beautiful Brienne thought her sister could even be jealous.

„What do you want?“

All the years that passed, Brienne had spent imagining what Arya would look like or sound like once she found her. She had imagined a child's high voice, not that low womanly tone. The voice that was as feminine as her sister's, but as sharp as her brother's sword.

„I wanted to see you.“

„Why?“

Because she was all Brienne had left – an oath to keep. Brienne didn't dare to think about what she would do once she left Arya behind. Jamie was dead, Arya and Sansa were found, and there were no more wars to fight in. No more things to fight for.

„Because I had promised your mother a long time ago to find you and your sister, and to bring you both to safety.“

Arya's eyes were unfriendly and cold, glaring at her for a full moment before she spoke again. „My mother is dead. And you didn't do well on the promise part, either.

„I am sorry.“

„Why did you want to see me?“

„To make sure you were safe, like – „

„Like you promise, yeah, yeah.“ Arya shook her head and rolled her eyes. „Is there anything else you want?“

Brienne eyed the woman, as Arya placed on hand on her hip as if to make the older woman feel intimidated. It worked. Brienne knew what to expect from Sansa, she had even felt like she knew the girl because she looked so much like her mother. But Arya was all too far from Brienne's expectations. She just wanted to do good, and everything she did seemed bad in Arya's eyes.

„I... why are you alone?“ she couldn't stop the words falling from her lips.

Arya laughed long and hard at that, and it was a dark sound, echoing through the small clearing. Brienne felt fear. This wasn't a woman alike to any she had ever met.

Arya's eyes bore into Brienne's as she purred in a husky voice, „Who ever said I'm alone?“

And Brienne felt stupid and naive as she noticed him, because how could she never notice him?

He stepped out of the shadows, where he was leaning against the cottage wall, and slowly approached the two women. As he came closer, Brienne's breath hitched in her throat when she realized how tall he was and how much he had changed. He looked like Renly even more and even less than ever.

Gendry put on arm around Arya's waist and pulled her back against him. The woman didn't even turned her head around; she just closed her eyes and grasped his hand with hers, where it lay on her belly.

Brienne's eyes lingered on their hands for a second longer; something about his touch made her think there was more to it than just simple affection. It more like protection. Maybe...?

She cleared her thoughts and focused on the man that made her heart ache with longing for another man and another time.

His hair was darker and his eyes bluer in the white North. His face was sharped and harder and his mouth stayed impassive, even a little unfriendly, and he didn't show any recognition when he looked at Brienne.

She just stared at the couple, at the way they fit together, possessively, intimidatingly, the way they both glared at her like she was a damned Lannister or a Frey.

„I'm sorry.“ Brienne gasped. „I just wanted to make sure you were safe.“

„I am.“ Arya said, and maybe she noticed Brienne's discomfort and the small sign of tears, because her eyes softened – just a bit. „With Gendry.“

The man's jaw clenched. „That's the way she's going to stay. Safe.“

His voice was a lot deeper than Renly's.

And Brienne thought there was a hint of something else in his statement. Arya wasn't just going to stay safe, she was going to stay with him, just as she said.

„I'll leave, then.“ Brienne said. „I am glad you are ha – I mean, I'm glad you're all right.“

„You can say it.“ Arya said as Brienne started turning around. She looked back with a frown.

„What?“

„That I'm happy.“ Arya nodded. „I am. Not the way I was supposed to be, but...“

The woman shivered a bit, like the cold had finally gotten to her, and the man holding her pressed her closer to his body, putting his other hand on her shoulder and rubbing it to keep her warm.

There was a hint of smile on Arya's face when she spoke again, and Brienne was suddenly, unexpectedly, reminded of Catelyn. The little reminder made it all worth. Even the uncomfortable trip.

„Not every story has a happy ending, but I'll take what I can get and call this mine. This is my happy ending, and I don't need a big wedding, pretty dress and a prince to call it that. I need what you wanted to give me, so thank you, Brienne.“

„What I wanted to give you?“

Arya's smile grew even more. She glanced up at Gendry and he caught her eye, returning her smile. „Safety.“

As Brienne walked away, she thought she would listen to Arya's unspoken advice. She's take what she can get. She returned to Jon Snow and looked at him, realizing she very much wouldn't mind to stay where he had grown up. „Do you think there's an open position at Queen's Guard?“

Jon smiled. „I'm sure we can make one.“

 

When the tall woman finally left their clearing, Arya relaxed into Gendry's arms and sighed. „That actually went better than I thought it would. I think I might even like her.“

„Should I get jealous?“ Gendry teased.

She laughed and turned her head to face him. She leaned her head on his shoulder and let herself stare at him as he stared down at her. „I don't think anyone, not even a woman, could come close to a reason to make you jealous.“

Gendry laughed and pulled her around to face him properly, still holding her by her hips. „Not even a woman! Oh, how you flatter me!“

„Shut up, stupid.“ She said and pulled him closer.

He stayed out of reach just long enough to mutter, „As m'lady commands.“.

**Author's Note:**

> i planned to end it with this, but i couldn't decide, so here's this dirty little afterthought:  
> "Ten years ago, those words would have made her want to beat him bloody. Now, though, Arya would have much prefered he just took her back into their small little home and followed every command she were to give him."
> 
> now, kudos and comments keep me breathing, so don't be afraid, go on and tell me on a scale from 0-10 how much this shit sucked.  
> i'm sorry, i really am.


End file.
